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I'm Back Part 2
So enjoy admiring the horses I live with and their rainbow of color...
I'm waiting for the Doctor to tell me what drugs would help me and to my surprise they tell me to sit down and that I'm missing more than half the blood in my body...and that I need a blood transfusion... I'm a little freaked and want to know how long that will take so I get home.... I have lots of stuff that needs to get done...
I must have slept through my Biology class... My Hemoglobin was 3.3 for a women it needs to be between 11.6-16... Yes I was missing lots of blood and I now had the reason I couldn't breath...I didn't have enough oxygen in my body due to lack of blood... I am so blessed I didn't have a heart attack ... I shocked many people due to the fact I could still talk and walk... Yes I'm from tough Polish stock... Not to take this too lightly... I am blessed to be alive and have NO complications...
Very strange to have my kids become the care takers of me and the ranch...
Even stranger to have a Doctor write on a white board all the terrible things that could be wrong with you ... I had my son hang something over all the negative words and my daughter wrote positive affirmations on the other side... I kept the TV off and visualized myself healthy , well and remembered how it would feel to be healthy again.
Lots of tests came back off the charts ... Well of course they would ,I've been sick for a long time. My second day in ICU ... Thank you every one for all the prayers and energy ... Most of my repeat tests came back normal... Yes I was free of disease ... But Not dis----ease in my body... I believe our emotions can make us sick ... I was so pissed off that I couldn't go there , I refused ... That's OK ... I told myself to let go and give it to spirit (God , Universe... What ever your faith is_) Which gave me lots of relief...
The new thing now is that the Dr truly believes it's Lyme's Disease... Of Course I'm in denial ... I have this huge anger problem... I only acted upon it as a child... As an adult I have learned to control it. I want to start breaking things or go out side and scream.... I'm tied down to machines for blood , watch my heart... etc... I am afraid to stay in a hospital ... Too many horror movies that I have watched as a teenager... My son spends the night with me... So sweet... Allie & Nick go back to the ranch to take care of animals and get ready for Asia's first horse show...
Asia and Allie... Yes they jump this fence that Allie is sitting on...
The nurses at the hospital I was at were awesome! Every one was so kind and helpful... including DR. R :) Thank you!!! .. I look forward to the day when health care in the US involves holistic care and traditional...What a glorious world that will BE!
I received 4 pints of blood ... My son kept taking pictures because he thought it was so cool . It's a very strange feeling to know that some person you have never meet, blood is going into your body and is saving your life... Huge THANK YOU to everyone that donates blood ...Your blood may be in me...
I was discharged with a hemoglobin of 7.2 , I was feeling much better! I had high hopes of watching my daughter and Asia cross country event the following day... The car ride home was so painful and exhausting I knew I wouldn't be able to attend horse show...
I agreed to take an antibiotic against my better judgement. After three pills I found myself back in the hospital with an allergic reaction which caused unbearable pain...My body had 30 lbs of extra fluid ...My hands and feet were huge... I could hardly walk , all I wanted to do was cry from the pain... The Doctor thought it was allergic reaction ... we decided the best thing was no more drugs for me at the present moment... My hemoglobin was up to 7.4 , my body was healing it's self...
The next four days were hell to say the least... I couldn't walk , use my hands , I needed 24 hour help... Night time was the worse for pain...The pain was everywhere ... J.J and S.J took turns with the night shift with me... Thank you from the bottom of my heart ... They didn't sleep ....all I did was whine and cry... My attitude was hitting rock bottom...
I have a new understanding for anyone that is ill, can't breathe or are paralyzed... At times there is no way you can be positive... I couldn't stand being so depended on people for everything... I couldn't cook or cut up my food, do chores, wash clothes or sheets( when you are in bed all the time your sheets get nasty quick), couldn't read or write , go to the bathroom or shower, I couldn't move ... Your body gets so sore , It's so painful from not moving... I was a terrible patient... I was so blessed in that after 4 days the pain eased up , swelling went down. I could see the light at the end of the tunnel... I decided to stop being negative , I couldn't be positive , I was still in too much pain... But I could be neutral which brought mental and emotional relief to me and the folks around me... Huge Thank you to every one that brought us food... Your our angels!!!
I slept 18 hours a day...For the next three days every time I fell asleep I would be reliving every second of my life ... I was very over whelmed with the emotional pain I was experiencing... But I also was amazed at all the awesome people I have known over the years and all the Joy I had experienced.
Part 3 will be on my Recovery and all the amazing learning's I had.
I do believe there is always some thing to be learned from all situations but sometimes you just need time to be mad , angry and completely pissed off ... Give your self permission to do just that...
Remember to totally LOVE YOU ! You are amazing.... You are here to experience living... Sometimes it's so blissful and sweet , sometimes your not sure how you'll make it... You Will!!!
Remember you don't have to know HOW...
Peace & Joy...Lisa
The chickens were a get well gift... How many folks get that?
The nurses at the hospital I was at were awesome! Every one was so kind and helpful... including DR. R :) Thank you!!! .. I look forward to the day when health care in the US involves holistic care and traditional...What a glorious world that will BE!
I received 4 pints of blood ... My son kept taking pictures because he thought it was so cool . It's a very strange feeling to know that some person you have never meet, blood is going into your body and is saving your life... Huge THANK YOU to everyone that donates blood ...Your blood may be in me...
I was discharged with a hemoglobin of 7.2 , I was feeling much better! I had high hopes of watching my daughter and Asia cross country event the following day... The car ride home was so painful and exhausting I knew I wouldn't be able to attend horse show...
I agreed to take an antibiotic against my better judgement. After three pills I found myself back in the hospital with an allergic reaction which caused unbearable pain...My body had 30 lbs of extra fluid ...My hands and feet were huge... I could hardly walk , all I wanted to do was cry from the pain... The Doctor thought it was allergic reaction ... we decided the best thing was no more drugs for me at the present moment... My hemoglobin was up to 7.4 , my body was healing it's self...
The next four days were hell to say the least... I couldn't walk , use my hands , I needed 24 hour help... Night time was the worse for pain...The pain was everywhere ... J.J and S.J took turns with the night shift with me... Thank you from the bottom of my heart ... They didn't sleep ....all I did was whine and cry... My attitude was hitting rock bottom...
I have a new understanding for anyone that is ill, can't breathe or are paralyzed... At times there is no way you can be positive... I couldn't stand being so depended on people for everything... I couldn't cook or cut up my food, do chores, wash clothes or sheets( when you are in bed all the time your sheets get nasty quick), couldn't read or write , go to the bathroom or shower, I couldn't move ... Your body gets so sore , It's so painful from not moving... I was a terrible patient... I was so blessed in that after 4 days the pain eased up , swelling went down. I could see the light at the end of the tunnel... I decided to stop being negative , I couldn't be positive , I was still in too much pain... But I could be neutral which brought mental and emotional relief to me and the folks around me... Huge Thank you to every one that brought us food... Your our angels!!!
I slept 18 hours a day...For the next three days every time I fell asleep I would be reliving every second of my life ... I was very over whelmed with the emotional pain I was experiencing... But I also was amazed at all the awesome people I have known over the years and all the Joy I had experienced.
Part 3 will be on my Recovery and all the amazing learning's I had.
I do believe there is always some thing to be learned from all situations but sometimes you just need time to be mad , angry and completely pissed off ... Give your self permission to do just that...
Remember to totally LOVE YOU ! You are amazing.... You are here to experience living... Sometimes it's so blissful and sweet , sometimes your not sure how you'll make it... You Will!!!
Remember you don't have to know HOW...
Peace & Joy...Lisa
The chickens were a get well gift... How many folks get that?
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