The Journey Part 3

                            The Journey Part 3

Rohan and I

All my many lessons and learning of my walk between life and the unknown (death)...

A few years ago I became a Shamanic Priestess ... Little did I know then how much help that training would be in my journey back to health. One of the sayings I have heard numerous times is to be a true shaman / Shawomen  one must experience death and rebirth... If that is true I consider that successfully accomphlished!

Do the Doctors know how and  why I lost so much blood or where it went ... NO
I do not know where all my blood went... There was a lot missing... :) 
BUT I do know why this happened according to what I believe.

I relived every moment of my life... Majority of it was a lot of fun . I know and have met so many awesome folks.  I am so  grateful for all those experiences. As an adult observing my childhood I was beat and tormented by my older cousin that lived with us for a short while. I had forgotten all about that...But all the emotions and sadness I felt have always been with me.
What I discovered is that at a young age I didn't feel protected or safe , I felt unloved and that I didn't matter...I built such big walls around my heart...All those unhealthy feelings have always stayed with me...

I am a Libra and Libra's are all about balance and fairness... throughout my early schooling to deal with my anger  I beat up every bully that crossed my path ... I became the defender for the weak.  I have always had this anger in me and didn't understand where it came from...Sometimes that anger served we well other times it was very dysfunctional.

 I have been reflecting on all my years of higher schooling and training for what I do as a profession, I laughed so hard...All my teachers have told me I had hurts I needed to deal with , let go... face my fear... When I became a Hypnotherapist  you practise a lot on each other... I  was the worst person to practise on...I kept all my emotions locked up tight to protect that little girl in me that wasn't protected...I didn't want to relive any pain...I believed I lived through it once WHY would I do it again...

Some folks live through horrible experiences worse than we can possibly imagine. That was a fear for me. I knew something happened when I was young and I was terrified on an unconscious level to know. As an adult and from all my training I can laugh now at how silly I was to not do my own work... What my cousin did to me I easily found forgiveness for ... My parents did the best they could...In all the yuk that happens in life, being beat I could easily handle. My Biggest realization is how sensitive I am as a human being and a soul. My sensitivity is what makes me so awesome and talented at my work, I am good and I know it... :) I love what I do! The horses and I empower lots of folks...

 But in living my life I have NOT spend time on knowing how to live in the world when you are so sensitive... My feelings get hurt so easily ... I have wall upon wall built around me... I have only allowed three individuals into my heart unconditional and they are my children. I allow my clients in while I work with them and few girlfriends get to visit the true me on few rare occasions... Men sorry never ...unless you are a client...  That is why I am surrounded by animals I trust them... This is why I have so many  horses... The herd enjoys volunteering to assist folks on there journey's to self discovery... It's SAFE
FYI...
My body gave me so many warnings over the past 20 years to deal with the pain in me...I didn't listen... Here are some examples:
I had an issue with my Liver.... Liver is where you hold your anger.
I have always struggled with my weight...oversensitive, need for protection, hidden anger and resistance to forgive.
Blood...Represents joy in the body, flowing freely
Tightness in hips...Fear in going forward  

The pink words come from Louise Hay's book " You Can Heal Your Life" Louise also gives an affirmation after each explanation...

I still am recovering but with so much gratitude to BE alive with all this helpful knowledge...Majority of my day is spent on me taking control of my health...Healing my mind , body and soul...It is my job to heal me... I believe we give up too much of our power to Doctors , politicians ...etc... Take your power back!
I do that by meditating twice a day, preparing healthy real food to eat ,Take all kinds of supplements, I am coaching me, I work with a Flower Essence Practitioner and a coach. I have learned to love myself more deeply and unconditionally...I speak my truth and what I need...
I do have Lyme's( temporary)  after having the reaction to antibiotics, I decided to try Flower Essences . I go every other week to see Beth ... I love it... The flower essence help me spiritually, emotionally, physically and have helped release all the anger from my body...If you would like more info on flower essence please let me know...

What a forced ( HA , ha ) journey this has been... I am thankful for how I have grown ... But if I heard my body and listened it could have been so much easier... I will hear my body and take positive action steps ... and it will be JOY - Filled!Overflowing!!!

May my journey assist you into stepping into your BEST life! 
Spend time on getting to know YOU! What makes you happy? How do you function in the world? May you be kind to YOU and love your self completely...
Remember the world will treat you based on how you feel about YOU!!!

 Over flowing amounts of Peace* Joy * Health...Lisa

Shadow* Rohan* Fiona