Stop Being Mad

BE Open to Allow Your Self To Understand Another Point of View

What did I do?????

 I wanted to share a story about a couple that I work with that the husband has taken a job out of state and comes home every weekend. I've changed the names to protect their privacy.

The couple has two children and they made the decision together for  Candy to stay home with the kids .John was laid off from his job in Spring of 2103. He has tried to find work locally but with no success . He has taken a job 9 hours away and commutes ...

Candy has had chronic  head aches for 10 years which leave her unable to do anything for many days at a time.

When they first came to work with the horses and I they both had become so frustrated with each other and blamed each other for their unhappiness...

You Know what you did

 

Candy believed John enjoyed being away from home , and that John was so lucky to have all this freedom and he was able to work with his friends all day and party all night ... Candy felt so sorry for her self ,hated her life and had resentment about being a mother. She felt her life was worthless and blamed John for her unhappiness.

John had become so angry with Candy , he missed his home , wife and children...He felt his wife had become so disrespectful and unappreciative of him... All she would do on his two days home was complain...He was also tired of hearing about her  head aches and how hard she worked . He was sick of working 12-14 hour days , was tired and had no time for fun.

Monty and Wilobe

The two horses that choose to work with Candy and John were Monty ( he represents forgiveness) and Wilobe ( Represents going forward in life)...The horses give you a visual of what you are feeling inside. The two horses began fighting and teasing each other . John and Candy were able to watch the behavior of the horses and relate it to each other and what their relationship had become... A huge sadness came over Candy and John...As John and Candy talked about how sorry they each were Monty approached each of them with such kindness and Love.

Candy and John were able to talk about what they missed most in their relationship. When ever they started to blame each other Monty would start pushing them with his head or hip check them...Blaming is not productive and Monty would make sure they were aware of that.... We'd talk about proactive chooses they could each do and Monty would be so kind. The horses know how you are feeling and react accordingly. Wilobe just ran around in circles which represented what happens when we blame each other ...It's like being on a merry-go-round, or a broken record, nothing is accomplished .

We get so into ourselves sometimes and only think of "Me< what I need " If / When you think of the other person " How can I help you" "How can I support you"   "Lets remember all that we have to be thankful for" It changes the focus of the conversation to be more productive... Talk about what you want to be experiencing ...It's like that old saying " The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence"... NO it is not!!!

 

Tomorrow I will write about the changes both John and Candy made to get back to having  Respect, harmony , love in their relationship and home once again...

Health*JOY*Peace...Lisa 

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